Q&A about mental disorders

Q. Why don’t people seek help?

A. There can be a different answer to this question for every person on this planet. Some of the most common reasons we hear for not seeking help are “people will think I’m crazy,” “whatever I’m going through isn’t that big of a deal,” “people will think I’m weak,” “I can’t trust anyone,” “I can’t find the words to explain what I’m going through” or “I hate myself.” Other reasons might be because someone feels they don’t have time to deal with their issues because they’re too busy, no one will care, they might get in trouble, they don’t know who to talk to, or the thought that “it probably won’t get better, so why try?” In the second chapter of BEHIND HAPPY FACES, we go into a lot more detail about this. But the most important thing to do is discover your reasons for not seeking help, and work on them. By addressing those issues, you may be able to feel more comfortable with the idea of finding the right treatment.

Q. Who experiences mental disorders more often - men or women?

A. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, women are more likely to experience depression, generalized anxiety disorder and eating disorders, and are also more likely to attempt suicide. Researchers believe some of the reasons may be that women experience greater hormonal shifts, and they are also more likely to be victims of sexual and physical abuse than men. Many experts are also quick to point out that women are more likely to seek help than men, which can result in higher numbers of female mental health issues being reported. Men are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs or suffer from antisocial personality disorders. And while they attempt suicide less often than women, they have a higher suicide rate (due to more completed/successful) suicides.

Q. How do I seek help?

A. One of the most important steps in seeking help is really wanting to. A lot of times people realize that they’re not themselves and emotions in them have changed so much that they don’t know what to do. They feel hopeless, isolated, angry, scared, frustrated and a whole host of other thoughts run through their head as they wonder if they’ll ever be able to go back to life the way it was or even worse if anyone even cares. If you’re in this place in life know that it can get better. It may take a long time, longer than you would ever want, but it is possible and becomes even more possible when you seek help.
If you’re in high school seeking help can be a little tricky, because you usually aren’t over eighteen. The first step is to talk to a counselor at your school. You may not want to for a whole host of reasons: the counselor is too old, doesn’t get it, will tell my parents, will kick me out of school, or I don’t want the school to know about my issue. But if you’re feeling bad enough to ask for help, how can it hurt to at least give your counselor a chance? You can also ask him or her if there is someone else you can see. A counselor will definitely tell your parents what is happening if you are a threat to yourself or others. If you’re not a threat to anyone, then you can ask what the counselor will share with your parents or whoever. Every school and state can have different policies.

In most cases you will need your parent’s permission to talk to a mental health professional other than the school counselor. If your parents don’t want you to seek help, then you can talk to your counselor about your options. You also always have hotlines, websites, local mental health groups, and other resources which are listed at the end of this book.

If you are in college, then you should know that this is one of the easiest places to seek help in your life. That doesn’t mean it’s simple or that you won’t have any complications or won’t have to fight to get the treatment you need. The counselor to student ratio is still 1 to 1,697, although some smaller schools have better ratios. But chances are you have health insurance from your college or your parents, so that should be covered. You should also have a counseling center on campus that either refers people to professionals off campus or can help you right away. Almost all campuses offer between two to eight free visits at their counseling center. You don’t need your parents’ permission, but if you are going to use their insurance, then you want to check with your counseling center to see if the charge will show up as a visit to the wellness center or a visit for counseling. Outside of that no one else needs to know. If you are going to seek help, then the time is now. What are you waiting for?

Before you seek help, you should definitely educate yourself on your rights. There is a lot of fear out there about what to expect and what can happen to information about your mental health. No one can legally share your information with other people on campus. It should all be confidential. You should not be kicked out of school unless you are a threat to yourself or others. And if that is the case, the school will be more likely to accept you again when you are healthy if you tried to seek help before things got too bad. If they have to ask you to leave, some schools are not as open to bringing you back. Every college has a different policy so check with them first.

When you approach your school’s counseling center, you shouldn’t have to wait two-three weeks to be seen, and if you do, you can ask to be referred to someone off campus. But of course, it’s impossible for us to tell you the policies of each school and state, so please check with your counseling center to confirm their policies.

You are taking a huge step by seeking help. If you want the best outcome, it’s even better to go a step further. Educate yourself. Make sure that you know what’s going on within you, what can happen to you if you don’t follow your treatment program, and lastly, your rights. After that, you can start to work on all of the other issues. Remember, when you first start to talk about these problems, it can seem impossible to stop crying or find the words. It will take time, and it does get better, but not unless you begin the process and equip yourself with the emotional tools needed to build a better life. Again, the first step is finding the courage to seek help.

Q. What if no one in my family supports me as I deal with a mental disorder?

A. If your family is not there to support you, it’s important to remember that you still deserve to have people in your life who care about you and want to help you. You’ll just have to look harder for them.

• Friends. Find friends who will be close to you, support you, and not leave at the first sign of trouble (like when you have a bad day). Friends can help fill the hole left by your family.
• A good relationship. Some people are able to build a healthy relationship and break out of the negative coping mechanisms that life with their families has taught them. The relationship can also help fill the hole.
• Mental health professionals. You may have no one to talk to. Not a friend. Not a partner. No one at all. It may just be you and your psychologist, therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, or other professional. And this is okay. You may feel isolated, but as you work through your issues, you may find it easier to make and maintain meaningful friendships.
• Support groups. Another great way to have understanding and support are open support groups. They can help you identify certain problems in your life, while also making connections to other like-minded people.
• Education. Books, websites, brochures, or anything about your disorder can help you better understand what is happening to you and what you can do about it.
• Spirituality. A belief in something larger than yourself-whether it is your religion, faith, or just an overall connection to humanity-can help.
• Music. A lot of people find music to be a release when they don’t have the words, don’t have the time, or just don’t know what to say or do. However, be careful in your choice of music - it can help you release a lot of emotions, but at some point, for some people, particular kinds of music can reinforce negative feelings.
• Healthy lifestyle choices. This may be the most important component when trying to break out of the damage your family dynamic created.

It may never be possible to open a relationship with your parents or get them to understand your problems. This lack of understanding can feel like rejection and can hurt more than anything in the world. But remember that you don’t need to give up either.

• Talk about your level of emotional distress in terms they can relate to and understand. Remember to consider your audience. Seek to communicate on their level.
• Discuss the link between your behavior and your emotions. You’ve tried other “quick fixes” and they have failed to work.
• Mental illness is a biological disease. You are not pretending to feel miserable. This is not something that will go away on its own.
• Make analogies to other diseases. Focus on the ones that you can’t see but are potentially life-threatening if left untreated, such as diabetes and heart disease.
• You are aware of the stigma that is associated with having a mental issue and you are prepared to deal with it. The stigma is hardly an issue compared to the level of pain you constantly feel.
• Your mental disorder is not a reflection on their parenting. You do not see it as their fault. If anything, if you had their support, you would feel safer and more focused on healing.
• Having a mental disorder does not mean that you are “crazy.”
• Many famous people have had mental disorders and have been successfully treated.
• Mental disorders are treatable and can be improved within a relatively short time frame, the specifics of which will depend on your disorder.

Q. Does everyone who goes through a break-up have depression?

A. Plain and simple, breakups suck. To say they’re painful is a serious understatement. It doesn’t just hurt. It’s like someone reached into your chest and pulled out your heart. It feels brutal, like life can’t get any worse. You walk around, oozing from the inside out. Everything aches. And there’s no end in sight.

If you have a mental disorder, your recovery from a breakup can be harder to manage. For some people who have already been diagnosed with any type of mental disorder, a change like a breakup can cause an episode to reoccur. Or it can bring a mental disorder that you’ve been refusing to acknowledge to a breaking point, forcing you to deal with it.

It’s completely natural to be in pain after a breakup, but for some, that pain will go a step further and become depression. In order to be diagnosed with depression, you have to exhibit the following symptoms for two to three weeks:

1. A persistent sad, anxious or empty mood
2. Decreased energy, feeling constantly tired
3. Not finding pleasure in anything
4. Loss of sex drive
5. Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
6. Insomnia, waking up too early or oversleeping
7. Weight gain or loss
8. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
9. Excessive crying
10. Thoughts of death or suicide

It’s important to distinguish between feeling “depressed” and suffering from “depression.” There is a real difference between the two. When you feel depressed there’s a cause-you had a bad day, you just got some bad news. It’s painful and you’re unhappy, but as time passes, you feel better. Depression is something different. It lasts for weeks or longer and it isn’t always tied to a single piece of bad news or a difficult day. Time passes but you don’t heal. You can’t make yourself feel better. You need help. The best way to determine whether or not you have depression is to go to a mental health professional and explain your situation.

This information was found from: http://www.behindhappyfaces.com/faqs/

and

http://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/faqs.htm